be yourself, diary, life

BE YOURSELF

Amongst the  many little things lying scattered around, valuable or precious, thrash or invaluable, there lay a phone, a mobile phone. The phone was switched on an audio clip. The voice was instantly recognizable. It was Kashiv’s.

The following is from the audio clip found on Kashiv’s phone

Peter_5_S

And, I don’t know how will my voice sound. I am more nervous about listening to it myself than others, well, this is just a page of my journal when I am too lazy to look around the room for a pen and my diary. And the beauty of doing this is, you can not edit or rectify. Imagine a world full of books that were written just in the sentences that came to your mind, raw and daring and pure.

That is scary.

This is what they say when they say it.

I think I am going no further with this audio recording thing. I wont even take a second to stop the ticking recording timer. I am intimidated. I don’t want them to know what I feel, I rather can’t. If I tell them, I better tell them what they wish to hear. Edit it and serve it. The joy of editing. Saying it even without knowing they understand, transforming it, disguising it, covering it. Your purpose solved. You’ve written a code, and you don’t share the password to decoding. Its still a secret inside your heart, I ask, was the space in your heart filled for you to code it? I am going through this. I write because somewhere I want to be read. I talk and speak because somewhere I want to be listened. But am I bold and daring and defiant enough for doing it the way I want to do it?

“I write”, she said, “to unburden myself. I talk to myself to unburden. I don’t want anyone to read it, I don’t want anyone to listen to me and I can not practice forgetfulness. What is wrong in this”. I said, “nothing, Just don’t edit when you write to unburden yourself, don’t strike out the sentences, don’t be a frown under the smile, keep the mask off, be yourself.”  she said, ” what if someone reads it, hears it?”. I asked, “why the fear?” She said, “you don’t want anyone to know how you feel?”. I said, “but you want everyone to understand you.”

I got no reply. The conversation just ended. She left. She left as if to say I don’t understand it, I am not rational. And then I came up with a solution, tear away the pages after writing it. That is what I am doing to do, delete the audio after I am done. I can hear her voice in my head, “this is murdering a part of you. Its Blasphemy. what you write is sacred, godly, when it comes out pure from the heart, unaffected and undisguised, like a new born baby. Its cruel to kill it.”

A circle has no starting and ending point, but it has a center, which holds it together. I don’t know whether I will understand any of these. Whether I will understand, the center, the God or the fear when we know there is God.

I want God to talk to others.

There are some ruffling sounds, some sounds going dead, some voices being raised, unsure, confused and confident, some sounds linger and some sounds of silence can be heard and the audio dies.

 

 

 

Image courtesy http://www.google.com

Title courtesy song “be yourself” by “Audioslave”

 

 

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10 thoughts on “BE YOURSELF”

  1. So true, what you said… unedited is pure. The codes are pure. Authentic. Heart centred. When I published my spirituallly-based books they weren’t edited perfectly. Sentences needed restructuring, in my mind, but my inner guidance was always that the purity was in the first version, and that a perfectly edited book wasn’t the higher purpose. This went against ‘publishing rules’. So, I published an ‘imperfect’ book. However, the mistakes are minor, the teachings are there without my ego stamping its authority all over them. The original codes are within the books. I was also taught about the circle…. the purity of it. To me, it represents wholeness. Completeness. It also represents the ‘point of return’… the cycle of learning our lessons, life, and Karmic cycles. Stay true to yourself. Speak from your heart. It offers others a frequency of Truth from the centre of your centre… where the Source of Creation is. I loved your post. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for taking out time to stop by my blog and read it. Yeah, I know it sounds rather weird but unedited sentences and texts are actually the pure form of one’s thoughts. Editing is a way to pull a mask for it alters and changes meaning of the real thoughts. Makes it an illusion. You’re right though, this goes against the publishing rules. I mean it’s better to be crude and real than being showy.
    Thank you for commenting. Glad you liked it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My pleasure! Thank you for taking time out to visit my blog. Excuse my imperfect typing of spiritually! It’s my predictive text! My friend recently commented she has noticed many are becoming more aware of how ‘flowering things up’ and creating a mirage is no longer resonating. People are seeing through it now. Many are reshifting their focus towards keeping things real, being authentic. I don’t think anything you ha e said is weird…I wholeheartedly agree. The ego and Lies emit distorted codes, illusions. We live in a universe of distorted light codes. Truth, however, cannot be bent. I guess that is why people are always drawn to those who remain true to themselves? Here’s to following our hearts this year! It is heart-warming to connect with like minded fellow bloggers. Warmest peace-filled wishes for a very happy and healthy 2018🌻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true, many are indeed shifting their focus to the reality. To thepart that is raw. Truth, you said it, cannot be bent. You’re so clear in your thoughts and reasoning, I like it. We must first be true to our self, only then will we be able to be honest to the world. We shouldn’t create mirages and illusions rather we have to be the rag that cleans the mirror.
      Yeah, it is heart warming to meet like minded bloggers, Thanks for your time. I loved your blog too.. it’s a very helpful blog.
      Happy new year!! Have a wonderful year.

      Liked by 2 people

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