father, life, loss



And the stars shone last night unlike any other night.

Last night before dozing off to yet another troubled sleep, I looked out of the large window into the dark night with bright sky twinkling with myriad stars and I had a feeling to belong. The vastness of everything around me, the sky, the glass window and the night, everything, made me empty.

And today, the picture in front of me is a face, a face on a glass window, very many stars in the night sky outside, with empty eyes.

Believe me when I say, I never wanted to, now when I look back or look ahead or remain, be a stone. I may collapse now, any moment, count the seconds ticking away, it may be any second now. But, deep within me I know I won’t. I cannot.

I too desire the shelter and shade of a rock. I want to look up at the stars; I want a finger to point to the sky, I want to be shown. I want to, I too want to get drenched in the rain, and get wet till the bones. I want to shiver and run home holding a firm hand, that firm hand. I want to see the sun rise and set and want to exhaust the ever willing ears with my umpteen questions. I want to, I too want to be vulnerable. I want to ride on the clouds and hear stories about the far away wonderland; I want to hear those stories in that voice, the voice of the mountains. I want to be beaten and protected, shouted at and pampered, despised and adored; I want to be loved. I too want sit under the shade.

But the umbrella is lost!

And when I think and see out in the real world I realize there are so many like me and so many unlike me. There are many more privileged than me and there are far many worse. And still I cannot help being what I do not want to be.

For once, just once I want to lose. I want to sit with the audience and enjoy the act, enjoy being the spectator.

Sometimes I see a lone cow grazing on a large green pasture and cannot help but smile at the irony of the painting.

And today the sun is up just like the days before today. And I am sure there will be a rainfall just like a few days ago.

Kashiv had a sudden urge to wash his face, he hadn’t finished writing. He walked to the basin, splashed his face with cold water, looked in the bathroom mirror and smiled, a smile of resignation.

Father – in sun and in rain

Image courtesy- Pinterest


88 thoughts on “UMBRELLA- iN SUN AND iN RAiN”

      1. “For once, just once I want to lose. I want to sit with the audience and enjoy the act, enjoy being the spectator.” – This was brilliant, I must say.. It stood out to me for some reason..

        Liked by 4 people

  1. I too desire the shelter and shade of the rock.. Gave me goosebumps..today no words to say.. Really I too miss that umbrella in sun and in rain… πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜†

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am happy you could draw inspiration from my post.. thank you so much for this, your comment has made my day..
      It really feels awesome when someone appreciates your effort…
      Thanks, Issiakson.!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very touching…Nothing can fill the void when we lose someone dear, but we do have to carry on and surrender to the situation.Especially when we are lonesome and tired, we need those strong but warm hands to caress our forehead and free us of all the heart-ache and pain……..An umbrella Indeed!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Tanya!! I agree with what you said. And there are times when you just want to give up, call “I quit” but then when you see up through the umbrella , you see those eyes watching you, you see the belief in those eyes and you say softly to yourself, “for you I’ll go on”… And then the sun shines and you feel the warmth…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, but I have to thank you…. But Enni, I am sorry, I already did this last month so I won’t be doing it this time.. but the mention and nomination means a lot.. this is my third nomination and I am so happy, I cannot express..

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so beautifully written and images of umbrellas as metaphors along with the beautiful father-son image make me love your writing even more. You’re an amazing storyteller and have a keen insight into the nature of reality. Thank you Vikash. Have a great day πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Anand! I am so glad you liked my writing.. I have, in reality, always considered my father as a shelter from rain and sun, hence
      umbrella… And now that he is no longer with me in this world, I feel I stand naked under the sky.
      Have a great day!!!😊

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely, cannot get loose. Everything happen because they are meant to happen and in that process it teaches us a lot, makes us strong and when the time comes to be strong we can’t get weak.
      Thanks a lot Sana for stopping by…☺️☺️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maricel! This is very very close to me, the post. This is not talent, I like talking and you as a reader are a very good listener. Thanks for listening.
      And your blog is wonderful! Keep wandering and evolving.. you’ve written some beautiful quotes…

      Liked by 1 person

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